Piece of me.

Take me with you.

2009-11-09T23:00:00.002+08:00

This week is a total hectic week. Next week would be worst than this week's.
Damn, I'm running out of time. Presentations and assignments are all due this week.
I'm suffocated. Can hardly breathe. Can't wait for my one month holiday after finals! :D

Upcoming events:
11th November - Human Communication presentation, hand in report.
13th November - Accounting assignment 4
14th November - Celebrate Amelia's(♥) birthday
17th November - Accounting Test 2
24th November - Final exams.

Screwed week.

I need new pair of lenses and looking at random fashion pictures put me at ease. Xx.

One time.

2009-11-07T23:14:00.002+08:00

Had a rough day today. Was out all day long since 10am. Had some meeting with the crazy partners, and head off to Midvalley to meet up with Karyan and Tiffany. Funny and cute people! It was nice meeting them though, for the first time. Although they were all so shy. Felt bad that i delayed and took some of Karyan's time when she had to rush off to cinema for her movie. Sorry girl!

My gladiator killed me. I was walking around Midvalley with my four inches heels and seriously, it killed me. Keeping my fingers crossed that i wouldn't get any blisters please! :(
I need more clothes, doing some light online shopping. Gonna get myself some new tops before i start getting bored with my wardrobe's clothes.

Oh oh btw. I bought Iphone for myself. Yes, all my own cash if you're wondering. But i need to wait for about 30-45days for the phone. So, expenses would be higher later on, as i subscribed with Maxis IValue Plan. Which means, I'm using postpaid, and i've gotta manage my usage every month so that it wouldn't exceed $155. I'm contented though. Things that i'm lacking on: A notebook, for myself. I'm working on it.

In my lifetime, I’ve come to realize that you can’t depend upon other people for what you want and you can’t be scared to go out there and get it. You have to dream hard, wish big, and chase after your goals, because no one is going to do it for you.

via @eletheowl

Tendency to fall apart.

2009-10-26T22:39:00.002+08:00

At this point, at this time, right at this second. I feel like blogging while I'm still writing my essay which is to be handed in tomorrow. (Yes, i know. I'm always a last minute person.) Back to the essay part. I guess i'm too much on words. Ms Tina told us that the maximum words for our essays can only be 500 words, and we shouldn't exceed it. I can't stop myself from adding more words to each sentence, and I seriously can't fix this bad habit. I know it'll somehow pull my marks down. Sometimes, humans are just too stubborn, eh? Or maybe it's just me? ;)

Had fun in the spa session with Chris and Aiman. My two great partners :D I had one awesome stress-relieving-massage, and i feel so much better than before. (I had a full manicure session and an express pedicure too!♥) At least for now, I'm not that tensed up. Maybe for this moment. Stress will hit me again by tomorrow morning after I've got myself up from the bed. Know why? I have a debate tomorrow! It's not something really formal, inter class thing, but I'm still quite nervous as it's my first time participating. I can't stress how much I hate this second semester, but it's coming to an end. I seriously can't wait. Wish me luck anyhow, earthlings.
-

I know I still misses you deep down. I won't deny that I still love you.
It's something I wouldn't wanna hide from you. But we're ain't gonna be together anymore.
That's our fate. I'm happy with how I'm living now. Hoping the best for you too, my love.

See my heart beating.

2009-10-24T21:37:00.002+08:00

Finals are around the corner, while I'm still slacking away. Studies is still alright.
Everything is still under control. Terrified that i wouldn't be getting distinctions for all my subjects, still working on it. I'm left with so much to do. Journals, reports, and also presentations.
Everything is cramped, and my schedule is so tight! ;(
Been coming back home almost everyday after midnight. Sleepless nights sometimes.
I can't wait for my stress relieving massage on Monday! And my manicure and pedicure!
The best part is: It's all freeee! :) Well, not actually. But i've got voucher from my good friend, so yeah. I can't wait, i can't wait.

Pretty bad day today is. Twenty fourth, i shall remember you.
A friend of mine (Shall not reveal who), bang my back bumper. It was stupid, ridiculously stupid.
I asked him to park his car infront of mine, and when he tried to turn out from the position where he is at, he accidentally hit my back bumper! Scratches! And i had to touch up the paint.
Had to head over to DIY shop, where they sell this touch up paint, and we had a hard time fixing it. I'm not good at lying, seriously. I haven't tell my parents yet. I'm afraid! Ahhhhh. Godamnit.

Along the way, I've learned that you can't let anyone in too far and you can't trust endlessly. The biggest mistake you can make is to care or love someone more than yourself, because then you're just setting yourself up for disappointments. Boundaries are necessary so that you can protect yourself, because once you're broken, you'll never be fully fixed.
-via @eletheowl

The thirteen.

2009-10-13T20:51:00.002+08:00

I had always loved you, with all my heart. But you just broke my heart, again and again.
What is left for us? Nothing, but you left scars on my heart. I missed the boy who used to take care of me so well. The little things that you've done for me, mean the most to me.
I have no regrets loving you, although you did hurt me, and bring me down. This is how much i loved you, Salman. No regrets that I had been stupid and a fool throughout these few weeks for what you've done. Everyone told me about what they thought you were doing behind my back. But yet, I trusted you. Until today, until this very last moment, i've trusted you. This is how much I love you. Today, you lose everything, because you lose the person who loved you the most. The person who would make her way out of anything just to meet you. A person who would lie to her parents just to spend time with you. You lose me, Salman. I can't deny, I loved you deeply since day one, until this thirtieth day with you. You used to be everything, but now, you're just nothing.

A beautiful nightmare.

2009-10-03T23:56:00.002+08:00

28th day. Today is. I haven meet the boyfriend for 28days. I haven seen him for that long.
I'm really feeling so tensed up now. Felt like my heart just broke into million fragments.
Can't mend back. I couldn't. Decided to blog because I cant bear keeping the pain in me.
I'm so desperate now to meet him until I'd do almost everything just to go and meet him.
Stress comes in at this point of time, in the case that test is the whole next week.
I'm still left with undone Human Communication's journal, Accounting assignments.

I don know, I'm just so paranoid. I don't know what can i do now.
All i have on my mind is him. I don't know. I just wanna meet him, thats all i request for.
People say love is blind. Indeed, it is. You tend to do something impossible for the person you love.
Proven. I'm indeed insane.

Baby, how much i wish you were right here to see me smile, see me laugh.
How much i wish i could look at your stupid face. How much i've missed your bad eating habits.
How much i miss the smell of yours. It's too long, love. Too long. Unbearable pain in me.

Once in a lifetime.

2009-10-01T23:50:00.003+08:00

I've done my two presentation this week. English was awesome, Macroeconomics: I-screwed-it.
But nevermind, Mr Andrew was being really nice that he said my group was fine :D
Well, I hope that the score would be too. Next week will be a pure hectic week.
Test test test. All the subjects i guess? Damn. I've got to work on that!

Finally, I'm meeting the boyfriend tomorrow. Like finally. It's been 27days now.
Almost a month, but we're still strong as ever. Salman, I miss you. Really, I do.

-
I'm contented with how much I'm earning weekly now. Gotta do some shopping.
I need more bodycon dress :D and not forgetting, floral ones please ;)
Jumpsuits. Studded accessories. A whole long list, which i'm yearning for.

Breathe.

2009-09-23T23:11:00.004+08:00

Weeks had gone by just in a blink of eye. Without realising, lecturers have gone through from one chapter to another. For those who's always dreaming in class, sorry for you. Time is running out!
This whole week will be hell, I know. I'm still left with a 500 words essay. And yet, I'm still as lazy to start putting my whole brain and start my imaginations on it.
Presentations are all coming up, all in a row. I'm dead. English presentation is done, actually. I'm feeling better about that. About economics, I've got it done too. It's the memorizing job i'm missing out on. Gotta work on that. Anyhow, I miss Nikki, Kenn, Levan and Darren. My four good friends. Crazy maniacs who would laugh our ass off together, go through sorrows and everything together. I miss each and everyone of you. But the fact that we've separated, it's saddened me a lot. Life is always like that, again. I guess ;)

-
Another part of my story: I'm so missing the boyfriend. It's been a fortnight since I last saw him. Separation drama, guess it's all over. It's raya now anyhow. Should he be that busy until I can't even have the chance to speak to him at all today? I hate it when i get paranoid over small matters like this. But yet, I know I can't take it if i don't talk or even get to communicate with him. It makes my heart tear into pieces. I felt rejected, and it really does feel like he don't need you that much actually. I really hate this part. Honestly, deep down inside, I'm sad. But what can I do? I tell myself continuously that you'll be talking to me really soon. You'll text me, you'd call me. I don't wanna text you, I wanna know if you actually missed me, for i know i've been repeating the I miss you phrase for a million times to you.

Let me be a part of your life.

Miracle.

2009-09-13T15:39:00.002+08:00

Deeply saddened by the break up. It's complicated, totally.
I don't know if i'm relieved, or am i still tensed up. Miserable, mixed emotions.

Was outside the whole day yesterday. Had myself a trip to Seremban.
Speeding on the road, 200kmph. It was awesome, although i thought i was going to die.
Went there for meet ups with business prospects. Should had bought the famous food, Seremban Siu Bao! But didn't have much time to even drop by to get some. Well, i was singing all the way in the car. I've got to be happy, i've got to make myself high!
Reached home probably around 10pm. Headed straight to Pavillion for movie with Eric. Finally, I've watched the ugly truth. The truth is really ugly. Watch it, although it was beyond my expectation. But overall, still okay :) It's funny anyhow. Thank you to all my friends who was there for me, to make me strong. Those who strived through hard times with me. I love you guys.

B, don't say you ~~miss/love~~ me.
Because i'd hold you back every one time you mentioned those to me.

Shoot me alive.

2009-09-09T20:35:00.002+08:00

People have their very own opinions. Everyone do have different point of view, when it comes to advice. But, the question is. Should i follow my heart? Or should i just trust him, and wait for his decision? I don know where my heart stands. I do not know what should i do, and what do i want as well. All i know is i wants him back into my life. But why does it seem like i'm the only person needing him so badly, while he's like chilling away? Must life always be unfair? Must guys always hurt me and take my love for granted? Fuck.

What do you demand from me? Asking me to concentrate on my studies and taking this like nothing? I'm like the only idiot who's yearning for you. While, you? Chilling? Omfg. Maybe, you're just another passerby in my life.

Love obsession.

2009-09-05T23:51:00.002+08:00

Nothing much lately, just the same routine all week. College, and studies. Yes, how pathetic.
Advanced accounting in second semester suck a big time! I swear. Maybe it's because I didn't like accounting too much, and probably another reason is that, I'm learning the same thing as I've learned in high school last time, but this time round, the language used is different. I find Ms Dorothy (accounting lecturer) pretty cool and nice, eventhough I didn't like that subject much. Hopefully she have the powers to lift my hatred away :D That's if she's powerful enough to.

Just another day out with the boyfriend. It's awesome, and i'm already missing him although he left 2hours ago. But i'm still struggling. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it myself. One of the issues is that I can't seem to get into their world(Him and his friends). Whenever they were talking about something, perhaps i'll just listen and laugh with them at the end of the day, or rather, stay quiet. Because i don't know what else I can do. Should i bring in 'patience'? I should be patient, and give his friends time to know more about me, vice versa? Maybe i'm just being a sucker who always mind about what people thinks about me. Aiming for too much of perfection. (Tired).
Real sucker. I am.

-And if it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, I was loved by you.

One more time.

2009-08-29T20:59:00.000+08:00

It had been one month and five days i've been neglecting my blog.

Someone had asked me to update my blog, so here i am. No more to be called lazy. :D

Well, time zooms like thunder. Right now, i'm already starting my second semester in college.

Sad thing is, my good friend changed class! Although we're still in the same college, but things will be different. No more gossiping among one another, and being sarcastic to other mates. Basically, our class left with, nine students! Gosh. So pathetic. I know shit happens, but didn't expect it to occur in my class! Damn. I'm gonna miss my fellow mates ;(

And I hate Human Communication. Not that subject, but the lecturer, whose names is Ms Malini.K. No offence, but she was already being so serious for our first lecture. Like hello! It's only the first class madam! Ewwwww.

First time meeting up with Kary and Jessica. I had fun with both of them. Although, it's short, but i still enjoyed every second spent with them. And i miss Elmo too. Jess's cute lil poodle.

Photos are up. (Don be shocked).

To start off:

p/s: If you're still blur and hasn't gotten the message, the hair i had on my head, was a wig.
-

Never say never. It's not random this time round. I mean it, and i have a whole long biography to write about this. But not to worry, it's not like any of the boring essays. Well, it's part of my life. Something special that i'd love to share. Regardless who you really are, right now, at this moment reading my blog post.

What do you say to a guy who you had attraction on? What do you say, when the opposite sex (the one you fancy) is a different race? To me. Well, highlight the word, 'Last time's me'. I would say NO. A big no, to start a relationship if my partner was a different race as I am. Okay, to be short, racist. (atleast i'm open minded, and brave enough to state it out here, don't you think so?) I was, pathetic right? I know. I would definitely reject a guy who comes after me, or a guy who i fancy so much, but practically if he was a different race, say Goodbye. That WAS me.
Until I met someone who changed my mind, totally. I don know how shall I explain how important this person is to me. He is more than the world to me, I swear to God. I don know what's the consequences, what's gonna happen to us. One thing i'm definitely aware of: I know there are much more to face, ahead of us. But i'm ready. All i can say is, I'm ready if i'd to go through this with you, Salman. I don know how to explain about our relationship, or practically just that stupid feeling I had for you, but this is it! I don know what you did to me, or how. But I've fallen for you, and it's my first time saying 'Yes, I do' to someone I would never. (I'm talking about difference in race/religion). So, again. Never say never, because you wouldn't know what would happen to you in your life. I'm amazed, totally.

Mega sales.

2009-07-25T11:44:00.000+08:00

Again, Missing In Action. But nevermind, i'm back anyway. Topshop/ Topman are having massive sales! 1/2 Price sales! So please, those who love Ts/Tm, please do come visit us, and buy buy buy! We're just currently clearing the stocks of Spring/Summer '09, because Autumn/Winter is coming. So just get your butts to Topshop now!

I'm currently working as a part timer in Topshop, and everyone asked me this question.

Like over and over again. 'Aren't you tired?' My answer is, YES. I'm indeed very tired.

But i really enjoy working there. The staffs there are really friendly, and working there

makes me feel like we're all in a family. A huge one. Everyone gives a hand out to someone, and we'll just make each other's day. Sweet people.

Yes, although another issue working in Topshop is that, I'm really tired, as I have to face different customers behaviour everyday, but worth it though. Sometimes, we just have to understand and just bear with it for the sake of working there. We often meet up with difficult customers there, especially the ladies who entered Topshop. (No offence).

I've come to an end for today! Please stay tune for more!

p/s: Finals are coming! Study time :(

If today was the last day.

2009-07-06T15:15:00.000+08:00

I've been away for a freaking month! Oh Lord.
What occupies me nowadays is books and assignments. Now it's even greater. My comp broke down and i couldnt online at all. All i could do everyday at home is, study and sleep. The same routine everyday. A freako huh?

Mega sales is here again! Time to shop till you drop :D
Currently looking for job, I hope i could get the barista job in Starbucks.
Keeping my fingers crossed, hoping i'd get a call very soon!

Upcoming events:
17th July- Nikki's birthday + History/Malaysian studies presentation
20th July-English presentation
21st July-Naughty brother's big day
29th July- Kenn's birthday

To die for:

Boyfriend Jeans!

Denim shorts.

Floral print dress/bodycon dress.

Taking back my love.

2009-06-19T20:50:00.000+08:00

I'm late again. What a hectic life of mine. Mid terms are getting me on the wall.
Too busy preparing for each subjects. I'm dead. Malaysian studies test is coming up.
I have 0 knowledge for it now, and I mean it. I'm wondering now, how the hell i managed to score A1 for my history? *Rolls eyes*

Well. Microeconomics test is coming up. (24th of the month). I'm left with last few days to do my final revision. It only cover Topic 3 & 4, but i'm already stressing up now.
Opportunity cost, marginal benefit/cost, production possibilities frontier and the list goes on.
SHIT. Next, Business Math test is coming up. I guess i'm still fine with that. Except that i need more exercise! Practice makes perfect, right? :D

Not forgetting, my driving test. Like finally, zomg. It had been ages.
Can't imagine me driving on the road! Wonder will I be a bad driver, or a good one? Lol.

p/s: I'm currently selling BB Cream. Any friends who's interested, please contact me.
Imported from Korea. Anyone who's interested, please please contact me!

Just to linger around you.

2009-06-01T20:14:00.000+08:00

I'm not away, nor i'm dead, neither I'm missing in action. Same rusted reason: Busy!
But at least I did made efforts to update something here. Math test tomorrow.
I'm ready for the worst, lol. But, ought to do my best to score well, a promise made to myself.
Well, nothing much to rant about. Let the pictures speak for me.

27th May, 2009:

Ikea's Place.

Senjyu's.

My favourite Ko-Ebi!

The Apartment. Wanted to dine in, but we didnt at the end.

Marche: Market in French.

Mushroom (Hate it so much!), Brownies, Strawberry Cheese Cake.

Happy belated birthday! Bff's <3

My paper heart.

2009-05-23T16:05:00.000+08:00

Oh, humans. I'm not dead, nor i'm missing in action. A lil busy these days so didn't have time to blog. Went casting the other day, and did a commercial for Digi. Hopefully i'd get chosen :D
About college, well. Economics quiz was over, upcoming: English presentation.
My topic would be: Sex education! It's necessary to have in school, don't you think so? I mean in Malaysia. I don't know whether other countries have that, but. I don't have any knowledge about sex when i was young. And my parents were definitely not comfortable to speak to me about that. So, i got all my knowledge from friends, lol. Lame, but true. Will blog again some time soon.

Upset that Rina's leaving. Gonna meet her up 2hours from now.
Do take care while you're in your new place dear. We'll all miss you!
-♥

I'll watch you fall.

2009-05-16T21:34:00.000+08:00

It's another tiring and boring day for me again. Had to attend theory class for driving today.

Damn it, whole 6hours there is like hell. They repeat the same thing over and over again. Had to sit there till my butt aches. The best part is that: They were supposed to teach us on how to change tyres, (that's like the main purpose why i was interested to go), besides that it's compulsory to attend, and at the end of the day, they DID NOT teach us anything on it. They could even tell us, go home and try it out yourself. Pathetic driving counsellors. Whatever.

Another weekend is by gone just in a blink of eye. Whether you did enjoy your weekend or not, Monday is coming. College again. But, I really enjoyed being in college. It's like I can have so much of fun with my college mates. I love them, really. But i thank a special person, Nikki. She had been a great companion when i down. She was there all along. (Heart)

p/s: Economics is gay!

Unconditional.

2009-05-14T20:45:00.000+08:00

Tiring, pathetic day. What a thursday. It suck even more when i have to walk over to the bus stop near my college under the scorching sun just to wait for my mom. I'm desperate to get my car license, i need it! Or perhaps is there any kind humans who could give me a ride? Haha ;p
Anyway, enjoyed most of the subjects today in school, except, Economics.
I do not hate the lecturer, Which i call him (Mr Lame), for some reason actually. I don seem to understand anything. Screw that. ARGH! It's getting on my nerves. Help me, if you're good in it.

Just another photo to update my changes.

Before & after.

One minute, you're behaving this way.
Just when the other minute passed, you changed.
I don't need you.

I hate i love you.

2009-05-02T10:49:00.001+08:00

Holla people! Yes, i'm finally back. Quite random, yes i know. Anyway, i've been missing blogging so much! :D Finally i can blog again, contented.
Well, there's so much happening to my life now, here and then.
Relationships, arguments with parents, college life, new friends, etc.
I'm doing pretty fine here, just can't get enough of college hours, lol.
Have a new hairstyle, it's pretty obvious right? Like duh. I still prefer my old hair, and i totally missed it! Gotta wait for a year or so to have it back.
Well, about college, I enjoy English classes the most! My lecturer, Mr Clever Keith, which is from Aussie, he's totally a fun and outgoing person. Well, economics sucks in the beginning, but now, i find it a lil more interesting than before, it's getting more and more challenging with the graphs, and blah blah blah. Math, Mr Victor is my second love ;) Although i really had a strong hate for math subject. I just suck in numbers, oh well. Lastly, accounting is not-really-a-big-problem for me, as I had the basics back then in high school. But now, it's slightly a lil more complicated which we're studying in English. So yeah. And oh, almost forgot. I have a new-naughty-funny-stupid friend, Nutcracking Nikki! :D ( I love you la k, haha). That's about it this time. Will blog again soon!

~~I miss you. It sucks to know that i care for you, still.~~
I hate to know that i still love you.
And. You were still a part of me.